two words: eviction party
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
