just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
