dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
