That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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