you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
