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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Come share oat with me in your robe
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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