are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
