dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
