How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
