i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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