dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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