So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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