just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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