woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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