Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
