i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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