IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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