no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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