I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize