The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
