Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
