im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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