If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
