I need help removing her.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize