she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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