pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I didn't shave. On purpose
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
