the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
