I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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