omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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