Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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