Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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