I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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