i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize