Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm always down for nudity.
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