an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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