im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
