Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
