yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
