White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
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We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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