dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
try to milk me bitch
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