Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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