Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
