This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
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Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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