for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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