Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
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Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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