we have officially lost it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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