I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
