her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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