At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
