I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
