After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize