I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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