YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
