oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
