trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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