And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
