Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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