I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
