babies were throwing up all over the place
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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