I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
